Archives for category: Life as a Wife

I have a gym pass at 24. When do I go? Look at my body compared to how it was six months ago, and that should give you your answer.

T.J. told me that we should cancel my membership since I’m not using it. Of course I instantly started pouting and rambling off, “But I will go, I will, I’m just busy, but if I don’t have it I’ll just get fatter and fatter… how will you like me then?”

So we came to an agreement. If I don’t go to the gym three times this week, we are canceling my membership. I refuse to lose. Giving up that membership is giving up hope that I can lose weight and get back in shape. I refuse to lose.

But today is Thursday and I haven’t gone once so far. So, watch out 24, you’re going to be seeing a lot of me in the next three days!

 

In the past, I would question those who decorated for Christmas before Thanksgiving. Listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas movies was fine, but decorating was a no-go. But now, I am obsessed. I broke out my N’sync Christmas Album this week (which in my opinion, is the best Christmas CD ever made), and it let to a chain of events.

N’Sync Christmas to Pandora Christmas Station. Pandora Christmas Station to Eggnog flavored lipgloss and scented candles. Eggnog flavored lipgloss and scented candles to watching Elf. Watching Elf to buying Christmas decorations. Buying Christmas decorations to setting up Christmas decorations. Setting up Christmas decorations to setting up my little fiberoptic and tacky (yet mesmerizing) Christmas tree. Setting up my little fiberoptic and tacky Christmas tree to pulling out the full size Christmas tree.

Fortunately I stopped there. I didn’t want to put the tree up without T.J. since it’s our first married Christmas. But I still had to stop the madness. If anyone visits my house they are going to think I am psychotic! But I couldn’t help myself. One thing led to another, and now our place is a winter wonderland.

 

 

We threw a Halloween party last Saturday night and it was a complete success. Throughout the night, we had about 20 or 25 people come through dressed as Mimes, Devils, Victorians, Princesses, Marios, Luigis, Care Bears, Russian Ice Skaters, Zoo Keepers, Nerds, Lumberjacks, and Leopards. We carved pumpkins, dipped apples in caramel, ate lots of food, strolled down a runway for a costume contest, and watched Halloweentown and Harry Potter.

I’ve got a lot more pictures on their way, but for now, here are photos of T.J.’s and my Jack-o-lanterns!

Being a married student is difficult. T.J. is trying to get into the BFA program in the spring and so he is working really hard everyday on his school work. I am glad he is working so hard to get the grades and build up his portfolio for the application, but we have realized that other things have to be sacrificed for that time.

But one thing that cannot be sacrificed is communication. I know I have posted about this before but I just want to stress how vital communication is for a relationship. T.J. and I don’t get to see each other very much, sometimes I just see him in the morning when I take him to work and then at night for a few minutes before we go to bed. It is so easy to just come home from school and watch TV and then go to bed. But when we do that, we barely have a conversation and a day goes by without talking very much.

Yesterday, we felt like we hadn’t had a good talk for a while so we just parked on campus, turned off the radio, and talked about how everything is going in our lives, especially our marriage. It was so good. It felt refreshing and really strengthened our relationship.

Elder Nelson said in April of 2006 concerning how to strengthen a marriage, “Communicate well with your spouse—it is also important. Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.

Anyway, I just wanted to pass that advice on. Turn off the noise and just talk. Prioritize well so you still spend time with your spouse, even if your date night is doing homework in the library. Just show them that you care and most of all, communicate.

Sometimes I go through my wedding photos and think, “Can’t I just relive that day over again?!”

It was the best day. Ever. For you and for me. Okay, probably just for me. But nonetheless, I would give anything to replay that day in my life.

I remember when T.J. and I were waiting in the foyer waiting to come out of the temple after we had been sealed, the temple worker told us it was hailing. All I could do was laugh. I really couldn’t have cared less! Nothing could ruin that day or make it anything less than perfect. (It also helped that by the time we took our pictures outside, the hailing had ceased.)

Would you judge me if I dressed up in my wedding dress again and walked around temple square?

It’s time for a moment of truth. A post about my feeeeeelings. A few words about self-esteem. My self-esteem.

Sometimes, okay… more often than not I have cruddy self-esteem. I have no idea why this is a problem now. I never have had self image problems. I mean what woman doesn’t always wish she was 15 pounds lighter, but other than that, I’ve been very content my whole life. But this year, I’ve noticed I get down on myself a lot. Half of it is because I gained back all the weight I loss for the wedding. Part of it is because… uhh…. I don’t know actually. I just have a hard time seeing the best in myself when I look in the mirror or think about who I am.

It sounds crazy now when I write it down. I know I am extremely blessed and live a wonderful life. It’s not that. But I literally have to say out loud when I look in the mirror, “You look alright,” or, “You can do this today!” just to boost myself up.

Is this getting too personal? Probs. Will my mom call me today and ask me if I’m depressed and I’m eating healthy? No doubt about it.

Anyway, this morning when our alarm went off, T.J. rolled over and told me he loved me. Then while driving to work and when seeing that I was kind of down on myself again, T.J. started singing a song (he loves making up songs, which shows me I really was supposed to marry him because my family sings all the time too). It went a little like this:

“I love meeeee, I’m happy as can be!”

He looked at me with his eyes wide open and eyebrows high, expecting me to sing along in a little round.

T really encourages me and helps me get out my ruts. When I look in the mirror and say, “This is as good as it’s going to get” (Thanks, Princess Diaries), he interrupts and tells me I look great. He helps me realize I am a good person. He reminds me that we all feel this way at one time or another and that we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves. T.J. is a true optimist. That is one of the reasons I fell for him. He always is positive and looking for the best.

Well, that’s really all I’ve got to say. But actually writing this post has helped me, it was almost therapeutic.

The point is, sometimes I get down on myself. T.J. really helps to lift me up.

What would I do without him?


Well, folks, I made new curtains from some kitchen linens I got at Ikea. They were about one or two dollars for three of them. So I had the idea to stitch them together.

To hang them, I attached some hemp to the top. I also wrapped hemp around the curtain bar so it would match.

I found an assortment of planter pots at the thrift store for about a quarter each. I spray painted them different colors and then used chalk board paint so I could write on the pots. Turns out I’m not much of an artist and had a hard time painting, but maybe the messy work gives it a personal touch or flair? Next weekend I’m going to start planting!

I also got these jars for about a quarter each at the thrift store, which I was thrilled about. I want to decorate them somehow, but I’m not sure what I should do. Any ideas?